5-13

The lesson is intended for children in year grades 1-6.

30+

If done in detailed blocks, this lesson take 30 minutes.

all

The lesson can be done with large groups, small classes or individuals.

In this topic

Keep Secrets
View
Tell Secrets
View

The lesson will involve unpacking the theme ‘we can talk with someone about anything’. 

We all should respect people’s rights and personal boundaries. Remember we all have a right to feel safe all the time. People we know and even people we don’t know can cross boundaries and come into our personal space. If this happens, even if the person is an adult or older teenager, and their behaviour makes us feel unsafe, it is important to tell someone. Even if we are told to keep what they did a secret it needs to be told to a trusted adult or older teenager.

Secrets play a considerable role in crimes involving relationship violence, grooming and sexual abuse. Perpetrators will often use secret-keeping to manipulate children. It is important for children to hear if they feel worried or unsafe especially if they’ve been told to not tell, that they can tell and they keep telling until they feel safe again.

It is important to know if we are asked to keep secrets that make us feel unsafe it is never too late to tell someone. 

We look at the difference between Tell and Keep secrets as sometimes if we are asked to keep a secret it may make us feel uncomfortable and unsafe.

Know

Difference between a ‘Keep’ and ‘Tell’ secret How to tell a trusted adult. We have a right to say ‘No’ if someone makes us feel unsafe and we have early warning signs.

Understand

Keep secrets make people happy and are fun. Tell secrets can hurt thoughts and we may have Early Warning Signs Tell a trusted adult Keep telling until feeling safe again.

Do

Identify Keep secrets usually have a surprise at the end and are fun Identify Tell secrets make us feel worried and unsafe

Key Point

It is important to know if we are asked to keep secrets that make us feel unsafe it is never too late to tell someone.

Slide 01

Ally wanted to buy a birthday present for Mum.

Slide 02

Ally put a lot of thought into the gift.

Slide 03

The lady at the shop helped Ally with the colour and the size.

Slide 04

Ally thanked the lady for wrapping the present in pretty paper.

explore

Keep secrets aren’t forever and they have a happy ending.  

Slide 05

Ally put the present in a cupboard Mum didn’t use very often.

slide 06

It was hard for Ally not to talk about the present.

slide 07

Ally’s Mum got a big surprise when she unwrapped the pretty pink candle.

ACTIVITY

What does a keep secret look like?

Extend and discuss

Discuss all card options, including “sexy picture”. Ask students what Ally  should do if Ally received it? Should Ally keep it a secret?

Slide 01

Ally was hanging out at the bike park.

Slide 02

An older boy came over and started to talk to Ally.

Slide 03

Ally liked that an older person had noticed him and told him how clever he was riding his bike.

Slide 04

The next time Ally was at the park the same kid came over, this time he gave Ally a long hug.

Slide 05

The older kid asked Ally to keep their relationship a secret.

explore

Secrets that give us Early Warning Signs and make us feel unsafe are tell secrets.

Slide 06

This made Ally feel creeped out and worried.

Slide 07

Ally said “no” and left the bike park.

Slide 08

Ally wasn’t sure how to tell what had happened.

Slide 09

It was hard to talk so Ally sent a text to Dad instead.

Slide 10

Dad told Ally to let him know if Ally ever felt unsafe

Slide 11

Dad didn’t text back so Ally got the courage to talk and called him, he didn’t answer.

Slide 12

Ally’s heart was beating fast as he wasn’t sure where the older kid was.

Slide 13

Ally looked around and saw a teacher from school walking past. Ally yelled out to them they stopped.

Slide 14

Ally told them what happened. The teacher helped Ally get home.

Slide 15

Teacher helped Ally tell Mum and Dad.

activity

Who should we tell if we are feeling unsafe?

Extend and discuss

Keep secrets are made up of things like; birthday presents, vacations, fast food and not telling someone is having a baby. Tell secrets can be made up of; adults shouting at each other, unwanted kissing and touching, people being tricky and in our personal space, physical abuse, and intimidation. These types of secrets are the ones we need to tell.  A secret which gives us early warning signs and we can’t stop thinking about it is a secret we Tell. Remember how Ally explained our thoughts can be hurt and we keep thinking about what has happened if this happens we should talk about this with someone. Having someone tell us not to tell when they have hurt us or touched our private parts is a secret we TELL. 

If the first trusted adult doesn’t listen, we need to tell them again or tell another trusted adult. We keep telling until someone acts and we feel safe again. The role of adults and older teenagers is to protect children.